Nothing Gold

Nature's first green is gold,
Her hardest hue to hold.
Her early leaf's a flower;
But only so an hour.
Then leaf subsides to leaf.
So Eden sank to grief,
So dawn goes down to day.
Nothing gold can stay. -Robert Frost

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Location: Arlington, Virginia, United States

I am a white American middle class suburban housewife trying desperately to tell herself that that is not who she is. One time I was a glowing young ruffian. Oh my God it was a million years ago.

Thursday, December 21, 2006

Sad News

It feels weird to post this right after my last post, but my dad just called me to tell me that my stepmom died today. She and my dad were divorced. He was pretty upset. It's strange for me because I didn't like her much, but of course it's sad. I really feel sad for my little sister Rachel who's mother she was. Rachel is 20. I also hope that my dad doesn't blame himself. I think he might. It's got to be very confusing for him. He's hated her for so long, but she is the mother of his youngest daughter. He cares about her more than anything. I don't know. It's all very sad and confusing. They aren't religious, but I'm sure my dad and sister could use your prayers if you get a chance.

We have a title!!!!!!!

Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows

Note: any spoilers of books whose movies have not been released yet will be deleted from the comments.

Friday, December 15, 2006

Another doctor

This week Levi added yet another doctor to the list. This one was a pediatric urologist. Fortunately the appointment was short and the doctor basically just told us that everything is fine. Last Wednesday night, Levi woke up several times crying that his penis hurt. When I changed his diaper in the morning it was mostly dry. He was crying a lot and not peeing much at all. He did pee a little, but it just kind of leaked out. I called his pediatrician and got him an appointment with a resident for that afternoon. I thought it was a urinary tract infection. Schuyler thought Levi's bladder was in danger of bursting at any moment. It turns out that we both overreacted. But that day, while I was trying to comfort Levi and wait to take him to the doctor, I was so angry. Surprisingly angry. I am not an angry person and I don't usually get mad about these kinds of things. But I just thought, "What the hell? Doesn't this boy have enough problems? He has trouble eating and pooping already and now he's going to have trouble peeing too? That is just not fair." It seems silly now that nothing is wrong. I took him to Georgetown and he saw the resident. The resident said, "Well, it's really unusual for little boys to have UTIs, but chronic constipation and not being circumcised are risk factors so I'll just prescribe an antibiotic and you can go home. Let me check with Dr. Burke first." So he left and Dr. Burke came in and said, "No, it's not a UTI, if he had one he would have a fever and be vomiting." Wow, that's good to know. Given how we already reacted, I'm not sure we could've handled vomiting and fever. So she told us that it was just a localized infection in his penis and that we should treat it with neosporin. But she was worried about the fact that his foreskin had not retracted. And the opening seemed narrow to her. She said that they used to do something if it had not retracted by age 2, but now they just let it go and it will eventually retract on it's own. But, she likes to make small mountains out of molehills and said given the infection we may want to at least have it retracted and maybe have him circumcised. She made the appointment with the urologist. We managed to get a urine sample out him (no easy feat) and then went home. We went to the urologist prepared to argue against intervention as much as we could. But he was very kind and laid back and he told us that Levi's foreskin and opening are perfectly normal and we don't need to do anything. He said that sometimes it doesn't retract until puberty. He said that the pain was not even an infection, just an irritation. If it happens again, we don't even need to see the doctor. Neosporin again and a warm bath should take care of it. So, a fair amount of worry over nothing much. I'm glad that's the way it turned out. I hope Levi doesn't find this post when he's in high school.