Nothing Gold

Nature's first green is gold,
Her hardest hue to hold.
Her early leaf's a flower;
But only so an hour.
Then leaf subsides to leaf.
So Eden sank to grief,
So dawn goes down to day.
Nothing gold can stay. -Robert Frost

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Location: Arlington, Virginia, United States

I am a white American middle class suburban housewife trying desperately to tell herself that that is not who she is. One time I was a glowing young ruffian. Oh my God it was a million years ago.

Sunday, January 29, 2006

How did I get here?

Does anyone else feel like a huge imposter sometimes? Or, not so much an imposter as a child playing at being a grown-up? Sometimes it feels as though I've been plucked up from making mud pies and playing smurfs, and plopped down into having a child and being expected to raise him and cook and clean and recycle and keep appointments and care about the government and be responsible and I wonder how it is possible that anyone expects me to do these things well. I don't mean to complain about the number of things I have to do, I realize that everyone else has as much or more to worry about than I do. It's only that they seem so much more qualified than I, the 9 year old, am.

4 Comments:

Blogger aBhantiarna Solas said...

Oh ... only every day. I keep wondering when the real grownups are going to show up. Then it hits me ... I'm a real grownup. You are not alone at all. ;-)

9:18 AM  
Blogger Liz said...

Yeah, me too.... not grown-up yet over here.

9:29 AM  
Blogger kate said...

All the time, Maggie!
Have you seen "Before Sunrise"? That's one of the many (to me) fascinating conversations they have. Ethan Hawke('s character) says he feels like a little kid in a grownup's body, and Julie Delpy('s character) says she feels like an old lady in a young woman's body. I don't really know what she means.

5:04 PM  
Blogger Maggie said...

I haven't seen it. Should I rent it?

3:47 PM  

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